When I was in medical school, it seemed like my friends and family immediately thought I knew everything every other doctor knows. I was suddenly expected to know things like what caused the blood blister on my cousin’s finger, how long it would take for my friend’s sprained ankle to heal, and what part of the brain was involved in Parkinson’s disease. The truth was, I had no idea what the answers to these situations were because my education at that point had only covered basic sciences. I had yet to learn anything about disease processes like bleeding disorders, trauma, and neurologic syndromes. But my friends didn’t know that and had the perception that just because I was in medical school I had become smarter than I really was.
Medical education is an evolutionary process that starts by learning the basic sciences. Anatomy and physiology are the first subjects we tackled because they were the basis from which everything else is developed. We learned what was normal first, and then applied that to the abnormal. The second year we studied pathology, the study of diseases, as well as microbiology and pharmacology. These subjects helped me to learn about the abnormal and what to do about it. That was just in the first two years. The last two years are spent totally immersed in being exposed to patients with abnormalities and diseases of every variety. Exposure and study of illness and disease gives a young physician the tools needed to care for patients the rest of his/her career. Over one’s career the learning process never ceases.
As a first, second, third, and even fourth year medical student, people often have unrealistic expectations of a “young doctor.” They think you know more than you really do so they ask questions and make assumptions that challenge your knowledge. Someone smarter than I might be able to come up with an answer, but I often had to say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know enough about the subject to give you an answer. I could have given an opinion, but if I didn’t know the answer with certainty, rather than fake it, I just said I don’t know.
During the time I was in practice, questions were “fair game.” My knowledge base had expanded after the experience of an internship, two years in the Air Force, and a two year residency. But anywhere I went I was bound to see a patient with a question; in church, in the grocery, and even in a booth at Steak ‘n Shake. That’s just part of being a doctor. It took some getting used to it, but I did, and from the personal relationship perspective, it was definitely the right thing to do.
But the relationship between a physician and his friends and family can be abused or mis-used. When it comes to one’s own family some doctors take the position that they’re a parent or a relative and not a doctor and prefer not to be involved with diagnosing or treating. I tried to be selective and knew my limits, but if my 4 year old had a fever and an earache, I was perfectly comfortable taking care of my own child. I can diagnose an ear infection as well as anyone. But when it came to croup with inspiratory strider, I couldn’t get them to a specialist fast enough.
Some friends and family take advantage of the relationship. For example, they take you aside and ask for a prescription for Viagra. Or they might say they’re about to run out of BP medication and ask you to authorize a refill of the medication originally prescribed by another doctor. Those are big “no-no’s.” All sorts of reasons come to mind to not do that. As a medical student with only surface knowledge, you have to gracefully say “no”, and not put yourself in a risky situation. Offering a suggestion or even giving an opinion can be a problem.
How much you involve yourself in other people’s medical issues or submit yourself to medical questions is up to you. You should do good when you can, but avoid compromising situations that can get you into trouble. You have to know which is which and know your limits.
Reference: Hochwald L. “How Med Students Handle Being the Future Doctor in the Family” Medscape 2025 December 24.
